Sunday, June 25, 2006

The cycle must end

really, i need to be pretty damn good beginning today - i need to end the cycle.

apart from the fact that i was reprimanded "officially" (via e-mail) by my associate editor (our EIC did not talk to me yet, I am still waiting to be summoned for this...) for being not able to meet my deadline as regard our June issue (the first time in my years as a journalist or my entire work history for that matter), i really, really, need to clear myself - clear myself of magazine work, other stuff, my studies (readings are piling up already and at least i should start flipping the pages by now, as well as i'm not participating in class discussion [give me a break, it was only second week of classes last meeting!!!]), and not to mention my complicated love life.

ah!!! i probably need to overhaul my life. talk about mid-quarter life crisis (???).

i think i need to slow down a bit - i was advised to take rest after my father's death last april, but i did not listen. i went on (even reported to work a day after his death) and now i am feeling weary - emotionally, mentally, physically - just a proof that i am not a superwoman as i think i am...

once i clear myself this week from all pressing matters as regard work, i'll find time to really rest, even for a week. probably have a spiritual retreat, confess my sins (my last confession was five years ago, imagine all the sins i committed!!!), see a shrink maybe (i don't now what else to do) and above all, reflect, reflect, reflect...

so please, i need the universe to conspire for me (paraphrasing Paolo Coelho) - so when i'm trying to finish my stories, please, notebook, be cooperative - huwag ka mag-loko please!!! - that's why i'm here at the mall now renting a PC to finish work...argh!!!
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