Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter

i'm rejuvenated-spiritually and emotionally-although my back aches-ouch.

missed my friends from UST's The Varsitarian.

good thing was able to spend time with them in our annual Visita Iglesia and Easter Vigil.

not only that i had gimmick with them, i'm able, at least, to fulfill my religious duties-duties that i failed to attend to because i'm occupied with either work or studies.

will post about Visita Iglesia. Just waiting for photos from friends: attention!!! Ipe and Leah-hehehe.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Father's gone

my father died Wednesday morning because of heart attack. he was 58.

mommy told me about it only Wednesday night. i didn't cry. i instead, i bombarded mommy (who was teary-eyed still) with questions - what happened? why didn't she tell me right away? what's the arrangement for wake and burial? etc. etc.

we were caught off-guard - no premonitions or what. i asked mommy if she felt any prior to father's death, she said she felt sickly and she woke up around 3am of Wednesday not knowing why - that's just that.

middle bro said he didn't also feel any.

youngest bro said nothing.

i didn't feel any - that Wednesday i was busy with a coverage and an interview.

mommy said maybe father wanted it that way - maybe father just wanted us not to worry or what.

he had diabetes and spent about the last 10 years mostly in his fish farm in Quezon. it was only mommy who regularly sees him on a monthly basis as she was helping him sealing contracts on surveying properties. he only communicated with us - i mean with my mommy and middle bro, through mobile phone. the last time i saw him was three years ago, when he spent about a week with us.

the guilty pang though was that, mommy had to remind us - me and my siblings - to forgive our father for whatever his mistakes were.

and that mommy pointed out that my father wanted to speak with me on my 25th birthday, but i didn't speak with him - i never thought that was my last chance.

had to text what happened - just to let it out. condolences came from bosses, mentors, officemates, friends. i asked prayers for my father, since i'm not sure if my prayers are enough, what with what i'm feeling right now - blank.

mommy said we forgive father and that we asked forgiveness also from him. on my part, now, i just only wish that my father is now with the Lord.

on Tuesday next week, he will be buried in his province - in Quezon - where he spent most of his life, either due to work (he was a surveyor/geodetic engineer) or simply away from us as he maybe tried to find himself.

me and my youngest brother will not be in his burial - mommy said youngest bro is afraid to see father that way. youngest bro was just quiet the night we learned about our father's death. he's OK, i guess, but whenever i asked him if he's joining mommy and middle bro, he just kept quiet - just quiet until i get tired of asking him.

i, i never thought i could be so hard-headed until now - now that he's no longer with us. mommy never forced me though to join her and middle bro in attending father's burial, she only just asked me to offer Mass for him. which i will do.

i said i didn't cry - in front of my family, yes. but after we said our prayers and that they all went to sleep, i cried and cried - confused, not exactly knowing what to feel.

at least now, i know where he is. unlike before that i had to guess where he is or will he be present in our birthdays, Christmases and New Years, graduations, etc. etc.

now, my father found peace.

and soon, i will forgive and that i hope i will be forgiven.

what i only ask now is to be stronger - for my family and for myself.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Remembering JRN 101

i like to say that my years as campus journalist and now as media practitioner (about 10 years or so) are enough. hell, no. really, learning processes continue and continue.

earlier, i covered a motoring event-hell, what do i know about motoring??? i don't even know how to drive. good thing, that event was not about a car launch - it was Ford's road safety convention. this topic, i can pretty well handle this.

this afternoon, i interviewed a former government official and now lead counsel to a client that reclaims its interest over a controversial infrastructure. i was terribly jittery prior to the interview as i know my interviewee is a lawyer and that he is one person, i believe, who knows what he's saying.

i read my materials again and again, but i was not able to concentrate. the topic is so filled with facts - staggering figures in dollars and pesos - plus riddled with all the controversies and characters galore.

when the interview came - as expected, i asked the first question. from there, the gentleman shared with me all the relevant information about the topic - information that i encountered in my research but was not able to digest until my interviewee explained them well to me.

i like to believe that i did well in the interview, as i was able to get responses from him to items that, so far, i'm able to ask as follow-ups - items that i did not encounter in my researches and recent news that i monitored.

the very basic rule in interviewing is the most essential to get a "story" - listen well to your interviewee/s and ask the "right" questions. right, ma'am patty? (missing ma'am patty here, my Advanced Reporting prof in UP-CMC graduate class)

really, i admire journalists, or other people, who can deal with various topics and have the necessary know-how - just like shifting from one topic to another and digesting them in just a day (without mistaking one from the other!)

next problem for me is to deal with information overload once i sit down and write my stories. argh!!!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Deadlines

just got through with my finals and now i'm trying to enjoy a class-free vacation.

initially planned to take at least a class this summer, just to speed up things for me. (see, i still lack 12 academic units, after that, there's the comprehensive tests - if i pass them, thesis is next.)

i want to finish my master's degree by 2nd semester of 2007. help!!!

done with the april deadlines for the magazine but here's may issue already - obvious, right?

deadlines, deadlines.

but who am i to complain? we all have our deadlines - at school, to our cranky boss - even settling down, there's deadline also to this.

it's all a matter of time management for one to beat his or her deadline/s, either in a breeze or in bloody ways imaginable and not.

OK, trying to finish some research work here - deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.