Sunday, June 03, 2007

Thinking of...

Sleeping and eerily hoping, not to wake up. or I wake up as a new personality...

Bumping my head and suffer amnesia...

Numbing myself under the heavy rains, feary lightning, and fierce thunder...

Wanting to vanish all the things that remind me of who I wanted to become...

Wanting to disappear all the reasons why I'm here where am I now...

= = = = =
I'm just adding the thoughts above to my tons of sins - maybe confessing to a priest, or seating with a psychiatrist SOON will help lighten things...

But hope I sift through all these blurry thoughts...ALONE - I have to resolve this shit I'm going through...and ASAP

= = = = =
It didn't rain today. And my tear glands rested now. Wonder if they'll be hyperactive by Monday? Hope not...I have to be civil and polite - no, numb - I have to be numb on that day, and for more days ahead - unless I speak up...which I don't know how and when...


In times like this, maybe I should get Rick Warren's *The Purpose Driven Life




But I have Paolo Coelho's **Warrior of the Light A Manual - But I still have to open it though...Maybe, I need to open it NOW...




I'm 26 and NOW, I feel so, so, jaded...

But life is beautiful, so many say, and I (still) like to believe that - I have my family, my friends, my sweetie who are here for me - but I'm not letting them in - at least for now....

= = = = =
P.S. Just noticed - Both Warren and Coelho are bearded, charismatic, intelligent men - who inspired millions of lives through their words - though I still have to read Warren's bestseller, the interview I read about him is really, full of hope, and Coelho's did some wonders to me - I got six of his works, the Warrior included (bearded, charismatic, intelligent - three reasons why I fall for my sweetie, haha, now I'm smiling silly.)


*From http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/thebook.aspx
** From http://www.taobook.com/acatalog/RFD768.jpg
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