Tuesday, May 21, 2013

DESCOVRIR Prayer

Image from What Christians Want to Know

No matter how I try to frame my mind to be happy, I am still weak.

And I am fooling myself to believe I can be happy in due time.

I got myself into a situation that now I am regretting very much. I was happy at a time I needed to and now, the realizations are torturing me.

The window of opportunity I was happy about last week is now closed, without me even having a peek of what is behind that window.

I am so weak now to deal with rejection after rejection. That is strike two for me since yesterday.

I know I am being tested. But I am draining of strength to hang on.

The lessons emerging are hard to absorb. All I taste is the bitter pill of my own failure.

For me to learn from these lessons, I have to hang on. I have to be strong.

But my prayers, my efforts to achieve happiness in crucial areas of my life are failing me.

They said there is strength in numbers. As such, please, pray for me, that I will be stronger in the coming days of tests.

Because one more blow and I feel my whole system would shut down.

I am inches away to giving up.

Friday, May 17, 2013

DESCOVRIR Window

I had a quiet view of Commonwealth Avenue  from my seat last Saturday at Enchanted Farm Cafe. I was so transfixed with the view, with this glass window. And figuratively, a window opened for me. And I am pro-active about this. Photo's mine.


How's the week going?

Mine has a share of both good and bad happenings.

The bad happenings were my fault, because I let them rule this week.

But I am reminding myself that I am still blessed.

And as opportunities closed, a window opened. It was actually a closed opportunity, but for some reason, it reopened --- and this highlights my week.

Thankful for this window of opportunity, it is letting in some needed sunshine in my life now.

Backtracking to Tuesday, May 14:
  1. After Monday’s mid-term elections, it was back to work the next day for most of us. As for me, I had a whole day training then. It could have been cancelled by the trainer since there were lapses in the logistics which were not his fault, but all nine of us students were already there. He was innovative enough to push through with the class. This was the second time I had him for a trainer, it really shows he has the knack for it, as he explains complex topics in a simple way, like using French fries as an example. And I learned a lot.
  2. Finished Walking in the Light 30 Days with Pope John Paul II Wednesday night, May 15. It was supposedly a 30-day read, but it took me four months to complete it. I am being inconsistent about my reading goal for the year --- and I must hit my goal.
  3. Wednesday was when the window of opportunity opened. I was simply elated with this development; I thought this was gone already. I took the first step to open further the window for me. The next day, with assistance, I was able to complete the requirements. All I am waiting now is to get a peek of what is waiting for me behind that window. I am positive because I badly needed this for my career and personal development.
  4. Thank God it’s Friday, that except for completing an online mandatory training, it was quiet at work. I even kept myself busy by working on something that was not urgent. And I was able to complete other tasks which I could not do when my project requires my full attention.
  5. And during my breaks today, I was able to finish my second book for the week (my third for the year): The Best of Archie Comics. My love for this comic book was revived. I remember when I was in grade school, I would borrow copies from my Mom’s student and read them until I fell asleep. The same for this compilation of Archie and the gang’s 70 years, twice I fell asleep finishing this 400-page turner.
  6. Tried today Starbucks’ Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino and it was too sweet for me. Too sinfully sweet for me now that I am trying to lose weight and curbing my sweet cravings. But my fave coffee chain has a promo: when you buy the frappe mentioned, or the Red Bed Green Tea Frappuccino, you will get a scratch card for a prize. And my treat for the next store visit is “Buy One, Get One.”  Hooray for this caffeine treat and go share the calories!

Oh, I still have problem (nine days running now) with Globe and the Tweet assistance (I bombarded @talk2GLOBE and those Tweeting to me from the telecom) to finally visit one of their stores to assist me (I am guessing it is the SIM card that has a problem). This merits another post. A not so pleasant one though.

Let us all enjoy our weekend!

Monday, May 13, 2013

DESCOVRIR Happenings

My mom's Mother's Day Rose Inspiration Fresh Cream artisan cake from Tous Les Jours

I had another enlightening counseling Monday, April 29, where I am highly encouraged to engage in ways or activities that will help me to be truly healed. So that day, I started posting a Facebook status (I normally "like," "share" interesting readings, and Instagram photos). My post that day was something so contradictory with my posts two years back, and the difference made me feel better.

The regular Facebook status focuses on my "happy happenings in a day." Many have commended the effort, as it is sometimes really hard for us to count the times we have been happy in a day because we are consumed with the unhappy things that ruined our day.

The happenings were not big, but surely made my day lighter. Counting them outnumber the times I was sad or mad in any given day.

And earlier, a light bulb moment hit me: why not blog about my "happy happenings in a day?" That will be meeting my goal to blog positively on a regular basis and counting the happy things that made my day.

So backtracking to Friday, May 10, here are the "happy" things that happened:
  1. As wished by most, it was payday Friday, four days earlier than our scheduled payday (we are actually blessed to always receive our salary a night before the scheduled payday).
  2. Had a relaxing Friday night, watching again for the nth time While You Were Sleeping on HBO Family, one of my feel good fave films.
  3. Had a surprising, heart touching exchange of SMS that just made me cry silly.
  4. Saturday, I replenished my supply of toiletries from Human Nature, now my favorite because their products are affordable, environment-friendly (free of harmful chemicals commonly used on beauty, body, and bath products), and above all, the company is a social enterprise, supporting various causes and providing livelihood to fellow Filipinos.
  5. After, had a quiet afternoon snack of TinTan's banoffee (which was huge!) and the delicious Bayani Brew, offered at Enchanted Farm Cafe, an advocacy cafe. I had a quiet view of Commonwealth Avenue from my seat, something different from my daily commute on this highway.
  6. And Sunday, Mother's Day, my family had a simple lunch at Shakey's. I wanted for us to dine somewhere fancier and make a reservation, but arranging mine and my brothers' schedule was a challenge. Still, we made it for our mother. We owe everything to her and treating her for lunch is not enough. After lunch, we picked up her cake from the South Korean patisserie, Tous Les Jours. We got her the Rose Inspired Fresh Cream artisan cake that was highly recommended by my teammates, and yes, it did not disappoint.
  7. And lastly, I fought the temptation to splurge. After jogging, Mass, and coffee, I went to the bookstore and caught fancy of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project One Sentence Journal: A Five-Year Record, a complementary to her bestselling The Happiness Project book which I read and in a way, helped me be more positive one step at a time in my life. I almost bought the journal since I thought it was perfect for my "happy happenings in a day" effort. But self-control and a tight grip on my purse prevailed. I am having a hard time to fill my Belle De Jour and Starbucks journals, why add another one? But I will consider this new journal for next year.

Tomorrow is no ordinary holiday: vote wisely. Seriously. Help make our country a happier place to live.
And have a happy week to all!