...and wishing the earth would just swallow me whole.
This is the overall feeling since I started this day.
So far, this is the lowest point I'm having this year.
Indeed, it's not a nice feeling.
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed that's why this nagging feeling.
To top it all, those whom I thought would be able to help in times like this hellish day, were not actually helping - all right, they were maybe helping, but they probably feeling they've helped more than enough so please, spare them this time.
Can't blame them. Well, I should be more discerning next time, whom to approach in times of need. It's not necessarily that blood is thicker than water, so the contradictory this time.
If there's any reason I'm still continuing, striving all this time, it's because I have something to look forward to - the promise of personal happiness that I now have.
It's not exactly ideal at the moment considering the distance, but soonest, as in this year, that happiness will be finally ours to really keep, once we get rid of this distance that's separating us now.
When that happens, I'll be a different person.
I will be assuming a new role.
And as regard to the role I have now that makes me so low, I only hope I'll be able to manage everything once I'll be far from here.
They will probably learn the value of me once I'm away, and that will do them good I believe - will make them more self-sustaining.
I'm speaking Greek now - I just have to let this out.
I'm still feeling low, hopefully a full sleep will take this feeling away.
If not, I shouldn't be feeling this way - think of happy thoughts, like my personal happiness now - there's no reason to give up. Just strive. And definitely I'll earn my reward.