Saturday, June 12, 2010


As predicted - and prayed - I was busy since Tuesday - gave me less time to dwell about the situation of my heart ....

After emailing the LBC customer service, a quick reply I got last Tuesday, June 8:

Good day!

This is to acknowledge receipt of your mail.

Please see below status of shipment for your reference.

Tracking Number 20100053254
Product XK
Name of Shipper CORPUZ LYNDA
Name of Consignee LOCKWOOD ROBIN O.C.
Date Received 6/7/2010 4:37 pm
Received By Signed for by: ELA
Remarks This was received at destination.

Thank you.

Respectfully yours,

Pam L. Lavilla
Customer Care Associate
LBC Express, Inc.
General Aviation Center, Domestic Airport Compound
Domestic Road, Pasay City 1300, Philippines

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I thank Pam for that reply and LBC for having the package delivered in just three days. But a worry wart that I am, I didn't receive any acknowledgement from the recipient about this - and I thought he could have thrown it right away ....

Tuesday also, after meeting with the recruitment specialist and accomplishing tasks for my pre-employment requirements, I made myself tired at St. Francis Square and parting with a few hundred pesos buying  four plain tops, and a dinner with a friend - who after, saying what she thought about last seeing the reason for this operation, went on to say that personally, she would prefer me not to spend my savings to a trip that has no guarantees - but she said, "indulge in the pain" and see for myself how this pursuit could be worthless at all .... I went home with her words playing in my thoughts and such tearfully put me to sleep.

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Kept coming back to the work location to accomplish pre-employment requirements - and I had to do what I've been delaying out of fear - the attending physician advised me to undergo thyroid blood tests; which I had to do the next day, Thursday - there went a cubic milimeter or more of my blood and my PHP2,000 (well, that's for my health).

The dreaded part - the results, which I have to give to an endocrinologist before I start working Wednesday. Will call later the clinic for the thyroid blood test results - and nervously anticipate for the results of the medical and physical exams I had to go through for this new job ....

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Thursday also I received another 1-liner e-mail:

"Thank you for the b-day gift, should be a good read."

That was the reply to my mile-long letter and of course, he was acknowledging receipt of the book, not the letter .... Another tearful night for me, as I SMS him early morning of his birthday, June 11, (when I knew he was at work already), and no reply then. I cried really hard until I fell asleep ....

Later during Friday afternoon, I got to see him online, greeted him, and I thought he signed out and so I left a message saying I was just trying to greet him on his birthday and I was sorry if I ruined his day for being too chatty.

I saw him again online, but I was working, and so before I packed to run to the work place to submit pre-employment requirements, I said again "Happy 44th birthday, good bye."

He was quick to reply, "bye."

And again my fast fingers wrote, "You're quick to reply when I said 'bye' but not when I say something else?" Kidding (with a smiley face)

He fastly replied with the animated emoticon of a hysterically laughing hamster for "ha ha."

I found my opportunity to talk more (after being silent for two weeks)  and said that no matter what happens I will always love him, among other words, which I pretty much relayed to him in my letter ....

He kept saying "move on. prosper. please find someone nice. have kids. be happy."

I said to him I had foregone the desire to have kids in exchange for a lifetime opportunity to be with him and what is it so difficult about believing and understanding that I can love him for real?

And made it clear to him I'm hurting for what he did - for being non-communicative then dumping his fiancee without a "clear" reason, but despite such hurt, I am remaining hopeful here for that chance to start all over again with him ....

And I stressed to him I'm not giving up on such because it would only prove I haven't loved at all .... then I had to sign out to run to submit my requirements ....

When I came home, I saw his offline messages, "see ya, have fun, be happy!"

See ya? Really after 58 days of no show "see ya?"

I want to be perky about this "development" - that the other line is somewhat talking.

But I'm also on guard for what things are in store for me, for him, for US, in the coming days ....
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