Another year is closing for me --- and it has been a very difficult one. Tops.
There are days that I wonder why am I here?
Why I made such decisions?
Why my efforts resulting in nothing?
But most days, I just let things be as they are. No matter how bad they could be.
I accomplish as much as I could in a day. And the next day, it would be the same cycle.
Such lefts me beaten, tired. But I have to continue.
I remember the video I took in Saud Beach, Pagudpud in early April this year.
It makes me think: Am I a wave or a rock?
Am I a rock that is trying to withstand the rushing water?
Or am I like water slowly yet steadily crushing the rocks that are weighing me down now?
In any case, I do not know who I am at the moment. What I can do. What am I capable of.
Or I do not know what should I feel. Or should I still feel at all.
I am simply, trying to stay afloat ....
*The video is mine in case you see it elsewhere.