Smelling an Old Cheese

Image from http://findin42.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/who-moved-my-cheese/

I arrived at the huddle room 15 minutes before the schedule.

I left four hours after with full of thoughts on how am I coping with the big change in my life.

Actually, I was asking myself what happened with the past 11 months since I was left alone and had to adapt to change. As what I learned from the book, Who Moved My Cheese?, had I noticed the small changes early on, I should have been able to help myself to adapt to that big change that came my way.

Lessons Learned

Last Friday, February 24, I attended a half-day, classroom training called Adapting to Change, one of those soft skills training offered by our company. Like with other trainings from the company that I already completed, we started with the house rules, introduced ourselves to the class, and shared our expectations or what we like to achieve from the training.

My expectation was the training would be about coping with change – in the workplace. I started 2012 with a change in employment status (from project-term hire starting June 2010 to a regular employee now) and a new project to work on. It is a change that I was not expecting, but I know I deserve since I have been working hard to achieve whatever I am having now from the company.

So, I thought the training was “perfect,” as while I know I can do this, I still feel sometimes that I am unskilled for the project I am in now. Not to mention that I will be having more client interaction than with my previous project and, almost two years since I joined the outsourcing industry, I am still getting the hang of it somehow.

However, Friday’s training was different. It did not meet my expectations. For me, the training was the Universe’s way of telling me, of nailing it hard to my head that it is time for me to adapt “fully” to the change.

I like to share with you sample lessons from the training, which I find very applicable to me now:

There are four phases of change:

1.       Change: In my case, it was about a life-changing event that I still avoid talking about in general or with those who keep prying about what happened.

2.       The Unknown. Would you believe that 11 months after, and I am still in this phase, the “unknown”? There are still days and nights that I find myself very disoriented. I keep asking myself, what went wrong? What did I do? What did I not do?  I am stuck here, in the “unknown.”

3.       The Adjustment. I made – and still making efforts – to keep hold of myself. My colleagues, my friends, even strangers, have said, it is not worth it. But once a pang of sadness hits me, I revert to the unknown and everything I did to adjust were just nothing ….

4.       The New Norm. While the change is already a part of my “daily” goings-on, I still have not accepted it. I am still in the unknown. I keep asking the same questions over and over and over. I would pick myself up but stumble again because of my own doing. I have not learned my lesson – rather, I have not made that “lesson” my reality and to eventually get into this “new” norm in my life.

The Change Emergency Kit  

I am so unprepared for this change. I am naïve to think I can undo whatever that had happened already.

I know I have to take charge. However, I have barely applied this emergency kit called, “Test – Drive Change”:

T - Think about it. I reacted. They said it was normal. When I paused, I decided to step back. I tried to identify how the change was affecting me, eating me, ruining me. I keep on reflecting what would happen to me, to the promises made, now suddenly broken.

E – Examine feelings. The key action that was discussed for this part of the training was, “identify what you need to ‘let go’ to accept change.” I am still holding on to empty promises, to broken dreams. I asked myself way more than the prescribed “five times” why am I feeling this way. I keep looking back at “the way things used to be.” I gave the benefit of the doubt, but I think I gave too much of it already. I am stuck. As emphasized in the training, I have to change to survive. I am surviving somehow, but I eventually like to take charge.

S – Seek information. I sought information from the source but all I got was cold treatment. When I finally got a response, it was more of avoidance. Then the blame was on me. I tried to make the unknown “known” based on what I actually know. I held on to the information until I thought it was time to use it to my advantage. But it backfired. I thought I was impatient for wanting to find the answers right away. But as stressed in our training, I have to understand that all the answers might not be available now – or not at all and I have to accept uncertainty when I can’t get the answers. It has been very uncertain indeed.

T – Take Charge. After the training, it became more crucial to me to learn to take charge. That I have to view this change as an opportunity to continuously learn and grow. To seek support. To measure progress, make adjustments, and celebrate my achievements. Above all, I must “let go of the past.”

How Am I Coping

Excerpts from Dr. Spencer Johnson, Who Moved my Cheese?, were shared with us as we concluded our training. From the excerpts alone I learned a lot. I must get that small yet truly helpful book.

The cheese is a metaphor for what we want to have in life – job, a relationship, money, etc. You name it, you want your own cheese. How I lost my cheese is something I am making sense still but among the lessons from the book that struck me the most are:

1.       The more important your cheese is to you, the more you want to hold onto it. So true. Need I say more?

2.       Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old. I thought blue cheese smells yucky. But it tastes damn good. I have accepted my blue cheese as it is. But as this change came my way, maybe I did not have blue cheese at all. I had something that had become stale, just stale. Maybe it was already stale but I held on to it thinking it would turn into a blue cheese?

3.       Noticing small changes early helps you adapt to the bigger changes that are to come. This is where I failed. But I very much need to redeem myself. As stressed in the book, “when you see that you can find and enjoy new cheese, you change course.” I have other cheeses to enjoy now, so I will focus on such. Searching for a cheese to replace the old cheese will have to wait.

That is how am I adapting to change. I have a long way to go. But I am getting there.

How about you? How are you adapting to change?

Oh, it is leap day today. I heard over the TV last night we could use this rare day to reflect on the changes that happened to us in the last four years. So, this is my reflection ….

On Stage: Mamma Mia! is Love

The world loves Mamma Mia! The Musical and The Movie. OK, maybe not all (as evident in a newspaper column last Sunday of a lawyer and socio-political analyst who basically just “ranted” that he had to watch it as a dutiful husband). Anyway.

Mamma Mia! is one thing I will never get tired off. I know the songs by heart (by ABBA, the Swedish group that rose to fame in 1974 and disbanded in 1982). My exposure to ABBA’s songs was intensified when I was in the university and at the same time, spending countless sleepless nights in our university publication office, putting an issue to bed, fighting for our sanity, and with that, I heard Dancing Queen sang ala Mariah Carey, ala Miss Saigon, ala else.

I love the movie to bits. I love Pierce Brosnan even if he was fighting for his life singing S.O.S. with “the” Meryl Streep. The latter was a revelation – she had opera and ballet training and that she exceeded expectations as Donna Sheridan.

Thus, when I learned it was staging here, I simply could not wait. I wanted a very good seat however, the earliest date I liked to watch it had no premium seats left. I could not wait until the next weekend thus I got myself a lower box seat (left of stage). As I am familiar with the CCP Main Theater layout (having covered numerous events and was given a tour of the 42-year-old building when I was a newspaper lifestyle and entertainment writer, then became a magazine business and finance editor), so the seat I had was already good.

I am still high from Sunday’s musical. Here are six reasons why Mamma Mia! is so dear to me:

And they're all watching the smash hit musical 

The CCP Main Theater was eventually full and at the end of the musical, majority of the audience were on their feet, dancing and waving to the encore

1. ABBA is ABBA. Period. They have disbanded a long time ago, but their music lives on. And thanks for the cooperation of ABBA’s genius duo, Björn Ulvaus and Benny Andersson to producer Judy Craymer, their discography's glory days continue with this phenomenal musical. 
2. Mamma Mia! never fails to uplift me. When a former colleague gave me a copy of the Original Broadway cast recording, I shamelessly sang my heart out in my office workstation and I bobbed my head in much gusto. I was like that for two weeks straight and all the songs – even the overture and entr’acte – kept me company when I was beating deadlines and dealing with heavy, personal matters. Yesterday, I resurrected my iPod shuffle hoping I saved the album there, but no. Sad – must save later.
3. Mamma Mia! is by women, for women, for all. Much praises were given to the musical, evident in its continuing success since 1999. Both the musical and the movie were mobilized by the women trio of Craymer as producer, Catherine Johnson as scripwriter, and Phyllida Lloyd as the director (who again directed Streep in The Iron Lady). Women across the globe and across races and generation have danced to Dancing Queen. They are either Donna, Sophie, Rosie, or Tanya at some point in their lives. Admittedly, the musical got majority of females as audience, but yes, admittedly too, thanks to the movie, it has become more endearing to the younger generation.
4. The musical is about you, me, us. The men were not left out in this musical – the prolific duo of Ulvaus and Andersson as proof. The male audience could have been at one stage, Sam, Bill, Harry or Sky - even Pepper. At Sunday’s matinee, there was an old lady sitting on the second row facing the stage who bolted up during encore and danced proudly, and the rest of the audience – men, women, young and old – from the orchestra up to the second balcony – were dancing in their respective places. I wished they danced in the aisle, it could have been more fun!
5. I’m Donna than Sophie. Yes, I identify more with Donna. She is real. She is a woman who fell in love, got her heart broken, became a single mom, was disowned by her mother (like my mother who almost disowned me for my stubbornness, haha). But she continued, raised Sophie as a beautiful daughter inside and out, kept a scenic tavern despite the hardships, and eventually, was reunited with her love, Sam. Her songs, Money, Money, Money, Dancing Queen (with the Dynamos, Rosie and Tanya), and above all, The Winner Takes It All, sum up her ups and downs in her life, and those are the songs I closely identify with.
6. Mamma Mia! is fun. Need I say more? When strictly concerts and musicals prohibit clapping until an act is finished, or it is rude to cough or sneeze during the lull scenes, Mamma Mia! is nothing like that. Sunday’s audience was generous to express their appreciation by applauding one number almost after another. They expressed it even more during the encore, and the audience was wild when Ellie Leah (as Donna) asked, in Filipino, if they want more. Of course!!!
7. More musicals. After this opening salvo of Mamma Mia!, the Philippine musical stage will be graced by another Broadway hit. Since I resolved to see more arts and culture events this year, so this is included. Can’t wait for this, too!

On standby for schedule and ticket prices

Mamma Mia! is staging at the CCP Main Theater until Sunday, February 19, 2012. For tickets, call CCP Box Office at (632) 832-3704 or check Ticketworld.                      

For my review of Mamma Mia! The Musical, please visit Rediscover.

From Vision to Action

Where I keep my secrets, eh, goals for 2012

Wow, we are on our last day of January 2012. That was quick!

For those who listed their New Year’s resolutions, how are you doing so far?

If you did not start yet, and deferred starting on Chinese New Year, which was on January 23, did you make it then?

If you answered no to both and shrugged your list as not doable, think again. Perhaps, you need more than just listing resolutions, you need to envision those resolutions and make them work for you.

For six years now, I made it a habit to list the things I like to happen in a year. As the year closes, I review those things for what I have accomplished, and for those I am not able to do, I carry them over and update them for the New Year. There were also times I burnt the “old list,” read aloud my “new list,” and I pray for guidance in accomplishing them.

I closed 2011 deviating for my usual “goodbye old year, welcome new year” ritual due to unforeseen circumstances. However, I started 2012 right away by polishing my “visions” for this year of the Water Dragon.

Visioning in Action

Visioning is the mental process in which images of the desired future – goals, objectives, and outcomes – are made intensely real and compelling to act as motivators for the present action.

A friend first taught the visioning process to me in 2010. The same friend taught me and two other friends a more focused, more achievable process over coffee on December 29, 2011 – a productive meeting that extended to an overnight session.

What I learned is that for our visioning to be more effective:

1. We have to specify our goals into four areas:

• Success (covering but not limited to career, finance);
• Health;
• Relationships (family, friends, personal); and
• Growth (education, personal development, travel)

2. Categorize your goals based on the four areas and list as many as you can.
3. Write your goal with conviction, not “I am going to,” “I wish,” and the likes. Write them as if you are already doing them, accomplishing them.
4. Make your goal time-bound. Specify when exactly you are achieving it.
5. Identify your ultimate goal per area.
6. As you narrowed them into four goals – one each for Success, Health, Relationships, and Growth, then narrow each of those goals into:

·         Minimum (Specifying a goal that would not make you too disappointed if you do not meet it)

·         Target (Aiming a manageable goal)

·         Outstanding (Hitting your ultimate goal, which you will be achieving by setting yourself to hit first the “minimum” to the “target” goal)

Out of that visioning process, I am sharing with you snippets of my visions for 2012, particularly my ultimate goals per the four areas (the details of achieving them from minimum to outstanding, I am sharing at the end of 2012). Now, I am keeping my “visions” in a “pretty pink” notebook solely dedicated for this. I am treating my visioning list as a “living” document, which I am reviewing every end of the month (thus, this blog entry):

My “Visions” for 2012 (Disclaimer: I am not yet able to identify my ultimate goal under the Relationships area. It is difficult at the moment for me to set goal on that):

Success

Career:

I am bagging an opportunity to work in my company’s office/branch in Hong Kong/Singapore/Australia as a branding/communications/marketing specialist, and I am starting with this overseas post by first quarter of 2013.

Finance:

I am saving 10 percent of my base salary starting payday of February 2012.

Health:

I am hitting my weight goal of 120 lbs. and a waistline of 26 in. by April 2012.

Growth:

Religious and Spiritual:

I am starting my day right by reflecting through Bible passages and Didache 2012.

Travel: 

I am visiting Singapore from November 11 to 14, 2012 for my 32^nd birthday.

Other goals that I listed that I find worth sharing include:

Success:

Career – At Work:

I am participating in three to four CSR activities for 2012.

Career – As a Writer/Editor/Blogger:

I am blogging once a week, posting quality entries for Descovrir and Rediscover. (I only blogged eight times in 2011 for Descovrir, 10 for Rediscover. How lazy I was!)

Finance:

I am increasing my “happy spending” to PHP5000 monthly.

Growth:

Development:

I am finishing two books in a month starting January 2012. (I exceeded my expectations! I already read three books for this month: PopeBenedict XVI: Light of the World, by Peter Seewald, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote).

I am bursting with goals for 2012. I am achieving them with smart work and fervent prayers. If you have already set goals for yourself this year and beyond, own them. Be proud that you have such goals in mind as they make you look forward to a bright future. Once achieved, share your success. Spread the blessings.

Thus, let us all put our concrete visions into delightful results.  

Murphy's Law ...

... or simply an accident or plain stupidity that I am worrying about, blaming myself to bits.

Tired from researching and writing, I went to my room around 2 a.m. today ready to call it a day.

I got my phone, Samsung Omnia GT-B6520 to set the alarm. I set it aside and toyed with my iPad 2 until I decided time to sleep.

Searching for my phone, I could not find it in the dark. Until it hit me I was sitting on something hard, and voila, there was my phone. I tried to open it entering my passcode, but it would not. The home screen was just frozen. I pressed the power button for more than 10 seconds, and when it restarted something happened.

The home screen changed to factory default blue and it said, to paraphrase, to press OK to proceed to reconfiguration.

WHAT THE???

So I accidentally reformatted my phone.
Messages I kept for posterity, wiped out.
My contacts, gone. And I got no copy of them in my SIM card.

What made me cried uncontrollably was when I checked my micro SD card, the photos --- of trips local and abroad, of gatherings and dates, of the times I had with my love, of just camwhoring, gone. The folders are still there, and it says the MB size of what is in there but no images to see.

I checked the folder tree and I see they are still there, but when I clicked, it says it could not open the file and it should be opened in its corresponding application.

I am a sentimental fool. I told my teammate about what happened and how I cried over the horror of losing all those images and audio and videos (I gave up on the fact I won't be able to recover the messages anymore).

He said that they are only images --- what's important I have a clear picture of them in my mind and heart. True.

However, given the situation I am into, I am feeling that losing them (hope not, I will still try to have them recovered when I go to Samsung's technical service outlet) would be too much to bear. Those messages, photos, audio, videos are the things I feel I only have now ....

As I asked my team mate, was this Murphy's Law in action???

God's way of telling me to set myself free? He said, perhaps ....

I don't know what to make out of it --- that the universe is pretty messed up now and I had a taste of it (I also had trouble with technology while using a company tool, anyhow).

I am keeping my faith. There should be a way that I will be able to recover them ... if not ....

Maybe indeed God is teaching me a lesson here ....

I might be losing the material proof of those memories I still hold on to. But I will carry those memories with me, forever ....

Click Flicks for 2011

... And did not blog about right away. But here they are. Thanks to friends and colleagues who found it fun to watch these movies, and we just loved exchanging views after.

Captain America: The First Avenger 

Image from Yahoo! Movies

The mad dash to Greenbelt 3 to secure our reserved tickets on time was worth it.

It is not a great movie (and I have no basis to compare it with the comics since I'm not a fan of it), but it delivered the expected action and I think Chris Evans' looks perfectly fit the classically handsome American actor who would you like to be a superhero, like Christoper Reeve to Superman.

The movie did not fail to expound on how Captain America was first of an experiment --- both becoming a super soldier and a major propaganda product of his time. From the opening to closing, the images of America and World War II gave the film an authentic '40s feel.

Acting wise, there's nothing much to expect from Evans but Stanley Tucci (Dr. Abraham Erskine) and Hugo Weaving (Johann Schmidt/Red Skull) provided the acting prowess to this Marvel comics' title. Of course, Tommy Lee Jones' gruff Col. Chester Phillips provided the edge and the laughs for this film.

Captain America is molded not only a hero in blue and red suit --- and a shield --- but he is also portrayed to be a source of hope and inspiration. In the tradition of Marvel films, the teaser after the credit was the awaited part, and we're just excited for The Avengers next year, and for that, it is Robert Downey, Jr. that I am relying on for some acting chops on this upcoming flick.

Larry Crowne

Image from http://larrycrowne.com

I love Tom Hanks as a great actor of his time and that's the main reason why I watched this romantic comedy starred and directed by him.

A Navy veteran, Larry Crowne had been the model employee of a big-box store, suddenly found his life in a twist when he was downsized from work, citing that he did not finish college. He found his second chance in life by enrolling in a community college, specifically attending a speech class with Julia Roberts (Mercedes Tainot) as his teacher, and yes, they fell in love with each other.

The movie elicited laughs, but overall, it was lazy acting both from Hanks and Roberts. Maybe because it was supposed to be a light, feel good film that did not require acting from these caliber stars? But then, after seeing them in heavy, award-winning dramas (they previously starred in Charlie Wilson's War and are both Academy award winners), you kind of expect them to truly deliver.

For saving grace, English actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Talia is refreshing --- she was such a delight to watch as Larry's classmate who dragged him to scooter rides and constant fashion makeovers. The rest of the cast like Cedric the Entertainer (Larry's neighbor who constantly holds garage sale, Lamar), Taraji P. Henson (B'Ella, Lamar's wife), Wilmer Valderrama (Dell Gordo, Talia's boyfriend) seemed to be a waste as they only have very few moments to shine in the film.

Despite such, the movie really made me feel good about myself, and it is never too late to find your place, your life, your love, and for that, it's A for Hanks for the effort. 

Ang Babae sa Septic Tank
(The Woman in the Septic Tank)

Image from Wikipedia

This is the best Filipino film I've seen in years, a brilliant product of both independent film genre and of mainstream success.

It indeed drawn out the huge mix of emotions --- mainly laughter. And somehow, laughing about the deplorable state of poverty in the Philippines (for which the film's setting was mainly about) was both a source of guilt, and yes, huge, huge laughter that I ended both crying and laughing at the same time (and a colleague of mine was literally sinking in his seat for his uncontrollable laughing).

From geniuses Marlon Rivera and Chris Martinez, the film is about three overly ambitious filmmakers (young actors JM De Guzman as producer BingBong, Kean Cipriano as director Rainer, and Cai Cortez as production assistant Jocelyn). They wanted to make an indie film that would reap success in both local and foreign scene, eventually winning the Oscars for Best Foreign Language Film.

Armed with what they believe is a winning script, a perfect location, and all they lack was the actress to play as Mila, a mother from the slums, who out of desperation to survive, has sold her child to a pedophile --- the tormented heroine in their film, Walang Wala (Nothing --- which translations they made was just ridiculously funny).

Until after debating among indie actress Mercedes Cabral, soap opera staple Cherry Pie Picache, they made a courtesy call and eventually chose thespian and now hugely hit mainstream comedian, Eugene Domingo, who spoofed herself in this film.

The movie-within-a-movie gets reborn in Jocelyn’s imagination several times --- from neo-realist film, to glossy musical, to over-the-top melodrama, to a docu drama using non-actors. Their romanticization of poverty taught these three young film makers a very hard lesson. The same goes for Domingo, who did not want to do the septic tank scene but ended down there (and no, they really did not use a filthy septic tank, as the director explained in his interviews).

The film topped the Cinemalaya independent film competition, bagging major prizes and the acting honor for Domingo, who really was in character as Mila, and gamely spoofed herself --- who started in the industry as a struggling theater actress and someone who has the heart for rising filmmakers, but the truth is she is a box-office star and a diva already --- well, in this film. Domingo, is just brilliant. Period. And she just stated the obvious about TV Patrol and other prime time newscasts these days.

And of course, who would forget the Italian coffee, "expresso"??? And such all makes this movie a brilliant piece, ironies and all it showed.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Image from Wikipedia

And I thought the genre of romantic comedy with an ensemble cast remained such --- but this one delivered, so far the best romantic comedy with an ensemble cast.

Steve Carell (Cal Weaver) and Julianne Moore as his wife, Emily, were married for 20 plus years. Their marriage was suddenly on the rocks when Emily cheated on Cal with a coworker, David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon). Cal moved into his own apartment and began frequenting a bar talking loudly about his divorce, until Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling) took pity on him and taught Cal to how to get over his divorce, pick up the women of his choice, and  even gave him a fashion makeover. But Jacob later found love with Hannah (Emma Stone).

You know that for every genre of a film like this, the characters are connected. But the connection that was revealed here was unexpected. Delightfully unexpected. The neurotic performance of Kate (Marisa Tomei) and the love struck teenager son of Cal and Emily, Robbie (Jonah Bobo) also gave this richly-laden cast of stars a further boost.

The film was funny --- poignantly funny at some points. It was also a tearjerker to some extent, especially the scene when Emily called Cal over some household chore trouble, when Cal was actually there secretly maintaining their backyard. You just feel there that they still love each other, and that made Cal realized he would win Emily back.

Personally, the film left me questioning myself --- that if I jumped out of the car right away (like Cal did after learning of Emily's cheating and wanting a divorce) instead of fighting hard for the love I believe was and still is?

Anyhow, the movie sent the universal message that love is both crazy and stupid, but if you believe in it, you will have the love you deserve. And this film, is now in my list of feel good films to watch over and over. And oh, Josh Groban was not that bad for his very brief exposure in this film.