Thursday, March 22, 2007

And they are all running

Just woke up from a nap, and checked online news, when I came across this - my former newspaper boss and my Sociology prof last semester are running this elections.

OK. I remember my newspaper boss well, though I only had one chance to work closely with him. Remember him through the following, from my old blog, parts are here:

...Now this is big deal digression.
Above all, (I guess) I’ll miss the EVPhehehe. He’s handsome and he’s turning 36 this March 17.
When I came in, he was the first one that I earnestly looked at. I had a crush on him during my first few months here....
But I had a chance to work with him when he tapped me to do the banner story of the anniversary issue of the newspaper last year. I was retrenched and was kept here then. He asked until when would I be staying then, my editor said that I would remain here.
Good, he said, he summoned me to his desk and we discussed what he wanted me to do for the story.
Days that followed were heaven and hell.... He always asked me if I like this and that draft of the story, all I can say then was yes. He probed, are you sure? Hey, who am I to argue with the boss? So I sort of enjoyed and endured my work with him.
After the anniv issue came out, as he promised he e-mailed me pointers such as write as if I’m talking to my little sister, avoid legalese, techno speak (the article that he asked me to write – why does advertising in newspaper makes sense? – are filled with such legalese, techno speak, based on my readings and interviews)....
Lastly, he said, "I hope you like that article that came out. Thank you for doing the job and until next assignment." Unfortunately, there’ll be no next assignment for me to work with him....

As for my UP prof, he's one of the best professors I had. Despite all the gray hair and the signs of age that mark his face, he strikes as cool prof - coming to class with back pack at that. He prepares for every lesson, with his guide ready at hand, listening well to us reporting, and taking down notes from our reports. His fact-based opinions, evident in his scholarly writings and journalistic outputs, are thought-provoking reads and are respected both in national and international communities.

I remember not participating much in his Seminar in Political Sociology class - it was every 9am of Tuesdays, an ungodly time to have heavy concepts to digest - so I resolved to do well in my last report, and got noticed for that, saying I reported well on globalization, religion, and politics, particularly Samuel Huntington's "Clash of Civilizations", and commended me for the initiative to read other materials other than those assigned. I did well in our finals, I believe, getting 1.25 as course grade (I brag here since I'm just proud I got such grade for that difficult, readings-packed course I got). But don't know if this prof remembers me though.

So, I'm surprised that two persons I actually know are joining the circus this May. I believe they are doing their best already in the fields they are in, why join politics? Just wondering. Oh, well, this is a democratic country. You can do whatever you want - get a celebrity to build up your chances of winning the polls, air cheesy or pop ads to create recall among voters, max your schedule for all the campaigning you need.

And what right I've got to babble here? I'm not voting - I didn't try my best to make it to the last day of voters' registration. Though I served as NAMFREL volunteer in the 2001 elections, I felt after I lost the drive to be a socially responsible citizen. Prior to that, I joined EDSA II thinking I'm contributing to change, but looked what happened after - "Hello, Garci?". And that I became obsessed in making myself a responsible person than being a socially responsible citizen. Oh, well.

So, to my newspaper boss and UP prof, good luck.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Good news

I don't remember blogging about this - I just had no strength to detail then, considering I was partly close to my former boss - who I name as a second father and a true mentor. His wife, who was the company president, died last year - an untimely, imaginable death at that.

And the development I learned is good news. For me, there is no point to tell the gory details of it - let the background information provided in the news links say so. All I want to treasure are the good things, the worthy memories I spent with them as my bosses, and the friends I made while there in their company. Hope things will be well from now on...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I want to be a mommy someday

i'm happy for jayme who will give birth to a baby girl soon.

i'm happy for another friend, cris, who gave birth to a baby boy last february.

and i wish i'll have the same happiness they have - but not soon - not this year, not next year, not in the next five years.

i know in my heart that it's not all career and studies i'm after - i want to be a mommy also - a mother to a boy and a girl, hopefully.

but yesterday, i got scared of not realizing that dream.

i always have bad cases of dysmenorrhea - as in bad. i can't forget when i bled profusely back in college. my JOURN classmates were shocked to find me bleeding in the ladies' room - the kind you see on TV and movies in miscarriage cases - as in, crimson red gushing down my legs. some of my classmates rushed to the UST clinic to get help for me, my publications adviser who happened to be in another class was called by my friends and she stormed out and attended to me; our professor was all worried about me, class was halted for a time because of me. i was wheelchaired to the university clinic and there i washed myself since the baby diaper i was wearing was not able to contain too much blood (yes, it was that bad i had to wear diapers on second and third days of my period). my girlfriends visited me after class and brought me some food (it was milk and pizza - a tummy-turning combo, haha, but they were thoughtful and that was more than enough). glad my classmates did not suspect i was pregnant then - well, to think the funny side of it.

i was prescribed to take medication and was advised to see an OB-GYNE. it was partly due to stress, lack of sleep (like most of my closest, college friends, I was part-time AB Journalism student and full-time varsitarian staff member - the work load and all), diet, exercise, and genes (maybe), the reasons i was profusely bleeding. until now, i'm taking that medication. i still bleed that much, but not that profuse, and dysmenorrhea pains suck, especially on second and third days.

and yesterday was my third day. on my way to ortigas, i suddenly fell all cold and dizzy as i was nearing the MRT Ayala station ticket booth. so dizzy and cold was i that i rushed to a cafe nearby. good thing it was not that full and i immediately asked for a brewed coffee. good thing it was steamy. i instantly inhaled its aroma to calm my nerves. yet i was still cold. i was in the verge of tears but managed not to cry. i asked for water and took my drug right away. i knew i was pale - i didn't want to look at my compact mirror to see how ghostly was i. i stayed there for about 15 minutes until i felt i'm becoming a little better. i stayed for another 15 to 20 minutes to make sure i could walk straight. blame my period, the accompanying pain, and the scorching heat for this yesterday's episode.

when i managed to get to MRT - that episode back in my senior college year hit me. and later, my mother's latest story about my second-degree cousin, who like i, have bad cases of dysmenorrhea. she fell that ill two weeks back and - i don't remember exactly the detail because it was gory for me i couldn't handle my mother all detailing it - my cousin's uterus had to be surgically removed.

i had goose bumps thinking of that - what if i end up like her? if my uterus has to be removed, how can i be a mommy? lucky for my cousin she has children already. but what if i'm that ill now? i forgot about these when i reached my destination, got myself a coke in can, and buckled down to work, yet, remembered them again on my way home.

i know, i feel, i'm not that ill, though my check up is due soon. i didn't follow, or i can't follow the doctors' advise to change my lifestyle - to get enough rest, to sleep adequately, and diet just right - but if i want to be healthy enough, i shouldn't be this stubborn. all i know now is i'm not ready for something like what happened to my cousin. i still want to be a mommy like jayme and cris. but, who knows? who knows...