Thursday, November 11, 2010

60 to 30: Ending to Beginning

I am ending this night frantically beating a deadline (and seguing to blog to unwind a bit).

I still have to pack for my travel.

I will close this last night of my 29th year with a prayer of gratitude:

- For all the things I am blessed
- For all the challenges I hurdled
- For the successes I had in my career and my quest for writing
- For my parents who raised me despite all the hardships
- For all our relatives who helped out to ensure I would get a very good education
- To my brothers who especially on valiant occasions, serve as my protector (mostly, they are my tormentors, haha)
- To all the friends who saved me from troubles and accepted me as I am
- The acquaintances, the colleagues, the mentors, the celebrities, the personalities I met and exchanged thoughts with, saved and learned a thing or two or more
- For discovering what it is like to love and to feel like to be loved
- To get hurt, cry, stand up, be normal, then crying again, but standing up once more
- For staying strong, and stronger

Thank you.

I am starting tomorrow with a prayer, and on my way to travel - to isolate myself even for four days to renew my spirituality, rediscover my faith, and cap this journey with a recharging experience.

Indeed, thank you that I am here.

And I look forward to becoming a better person for you all, those who believe in me, and for those who will come and be part of my life.

60 to 30: Can You Read My Mind?

I am filled with the following - so far:

My trip this Friday to Monday;

This, well, seemingly, uncomfortable, unfolding happenings at work;

The past, the not so distant past, the present, and whatever the future beholds;

My health, with all these tests and doctors' visits;

Digging for something, something which I don't know what it is;

Blogging about how cluttered my mind is at the moment;

Keeping the tears away, as for some reason or another, this is a crappy night ....

I turned my attention to watching The Mentalist, and Simon Baker (the lead character as Patrick Jane) - and now Currie Graham (the recurring character of Walter Mashburn) - amused me with their overload of good looks, effortless onscreen charisma, and very endearing characters they are portraying. But they were only my relief for about an hour - they are celebrities and totally far from my reach ....

currie graham,Patrick Jane,Robin Tunney,Simon Baker,the mentalist,the mentalist episode 8,the mentalist red hot
Currie Graham, Robin Tunney, and Simon Baker in the episode, Red Hot
(Image from

Now, I am lost again. I hate myself every time I fall into this state - or lack of.

I must focus to fully reassess myself.

And I really look forward to have this trip the start of my becoming a better person.

Yes, I have to be a better person for myself - not for anybody else. If only Patrick Jane could read me now ....

Behind the Scenes

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

60 to 30: Perfect Day

This Tuesday may not be the "perfect day" for most of us. But, is there really such a perfect day?

I guess it's a perfect day when:

When a nun was so accommodating but was not in a hurry to collect payment for your upcoming retreat;

The baristas at Starbucks had a good laugh over your and your colleague's funny exchange of lines, mimicking a commercial;

When the same baristas were so nice with you and was so apologetic when you got stalled in the line;

Your teammates kept you laughing over email exchanges for an upcoming bowling game;

A friend met you after work, had tea with you, and drove you home while he blasted his iTouch with Filipino songs and sang along with them (before that he was singing you religious songs);

When a colleague raised a possible opportunity which widens your career option within the company ....

= = = = =
Such happenings made my Tuesday. Far from perfect (since there were glitches), but definitely way far from terrible!

And to cap this evening, I came across this new single from Scotland's singing sweetheart, Susan Boyle; her cover of punk legend, Lou Reed's song, Perfect Day:

Let's all have a "perfect" Wednesday. Good night.

Monday, November 08, 2010

60 to 30: Star

Image from

While reading the e-book version of Steve Chandler's 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself as part of my chosen online training, a pop-up window appeared, meaning, I have a new email.

I clicked "OK" and the subject was, Customer Feedback. I sat up straight to check it. It was from my manager, sharing that the management is extending its "thanks" for a job well done on a 1-pager document I minimally edited/proofread. The email's opening had a dashing star on it, and I scrolled below to see the big boss's email stating our team did a great job for that deliverable.

I replied a simple thank you to my manager. But I can't help think about how ironic life really is:

I did far harder, far miserable work in the past but the commendations from my superiors or those who get to see my work were rare. I got used to it and it became a routine and I felt I'm stuck with a low pay for too much work that I decided to call it quits.

But for this 1-pager that I finished for about an hour, my manager was generous to share, to extend to me what the big boss thought of about the work we delivered.

At times, we sweat, we toil hard in life for a little appreciation, but appreciation never came.

We feel bad about it that we get to reduce ourselves to becoming a non-appreciative person, too.

We fail to recognize that there are those who try to make things lighter for us, and yet we push them away because we hardly appreciate ourselves.

For those who were pushed, they kept insisting themselves to the one who pushed them away, limiting their world on that person, and missing far greater opportunities awaiting them.

It's a process -  a long, tedious process.

Thank you if we get appreciated.

But let's always remember that we do what we're doing because we like it, and not to score stars to get noticed.

If others don't like what we did for them, or just plainly, suddenly, don't like us anymore, let them be.

We are a star in our own right.

We don't need to bag a star from those who don't really know our truest worth.