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It's your birthday.
You're 46 now (at least in the time zone you are now; you'll be a year older in her time zone in an hour).
She remembers your birthday very well.
It was her fervent prayer, for the past four years, that you'd be together on your birthday, and for many special occasions and seemingly ordinary days to come.
But that's not going to happen anymore.
You made it very clear with her.
She just keeps hanging on to nothing.
She knows that those promises you made are broken already.
She has given you all - love, patience, understanding - even if she discovered things about you that those dearest to her know were more than enough to not keep you anymore, or have you in the first place.
Despite everything, she remains faithful to her love for you, believing that someday, her love will find its way to your heart.
But, love is not supposed to hurt. And she is aware that loving you did nothing but to hurt her.
She closed her heart and dedicated it only to you, unwittingly shutting down possible opportunities for real happiness to come into her life.
She must let the happiness in once more.
As you turn another year older, her only wish for you is to learn to make others happy.
Open your heart to welcome other's love for you.
Unconditionally accept the person who is offering you nothing but love.
Nurture the love that is being given to you.
Be healed from your past because you unnecessarily inflict that pain into others, who only did nothing but to love you despite being you.
You're not that old to be truly happy, just relearn to make others happy first.
As for her, she remains faithful in her love for you. But she has learned her lesson.
She will steadily not force her love into you.
She will try her hardest not to remember the times being with you though. But if she did, she at least knows that you're capable of making others happy, because you made her happy more than you'll ever know ....
She is now going to walk the path to her own happiness.
The path could still lead to you, it could be not. Who knows? No one knows, really ....
Surely, there will be days and nights that would be unbearably sad. But she knows that those days and nights would be over.
But for now, she will try to be happy, one day at a time.
Eventually, she will radiate that happiness because she has learned to make herself happy, even without you ....
Enjoy your birthday and have many more birthdays to come ....