Friday, February 14, 2014

DESCOVRIR "Let it go"

The best Valentine's Day you can have is when you can say, "I'm letting go."

It has been almost three years since my engagement was called off and as I was writing here in Descovrir, I spent the first year and a half of it trying to work things out. It was only last year that I started to be more open to other possibilities, going out and making friends with the opposite sex from the world over.

Though there are still those very, very, very rare occasions that a flash of what happened interrupts me.

The marked improvement is that I no longer blame myself for what happened.
I no longer wallow in self-pity.
That I know fully I did everything I could.
That I gave it my all.
That it is me who has loved the most --- and still had (has) a lot to give.
That no matter how many times I was maligned, hurt, attacked, I'm still standing, weathering the aftermaths of that storm.

I'm further strengthened by the fact that it happened because there are better things waiting for me. That despite everything, I'm here --- a stronger, better version of me, ready to face anything.

Today's Friday + payday + Valentine's Day (who's still stuck in traffic)? I smiled probably a lot of times today when I saw those red, heart shaped balloons; those bouquets of flowers; those boxes of chocolates and cakes and other sweet nothings. Those couples at their sweetest displays of affection today. I didn't get any of those gifts (well I received, albeit virtually, from friends all over --- the virtual flowers saved me from allergic rhinitis and the virtual chocolates meant less calories gained). Despite such, I'm thankful I "survived" the day (actually the second straight hectic work week), beating multiple deadlines earlier and sharing with my team a dozen of Krispy Kreme's Valentine doughnuts (sugar rush needed while writing!)

I'm single and I'm thankful that there's Valentine's Day --- and the rest of the year and beyond --- to be surrounded with many people in love, courting love, and loving life.

Despite my past, I still believe in love. I do (being a hopeless romantic that I am!) Whether love will find me or not, what matters is I let go of the situation, of people that no longer have room in my life.

That I now have this huge space to fill with love (and I'm dead set to achieve more success this year), and the better me is surely not a relationship expert, but is more aware that to love is to love yourself first, and the rest will fall into its place.

This is the soundtrack of my first quarter 2014 (so far, but this really is my last song syndrome these days). I have not seen Disney's Frozen yet, but the song is simply powerful and carries hopefulness that we all need. I'm sure many has this as their anthem, too.

Let it go. Let the love in. But for now, sing along.