Tuesday, September 01, 2015

DESCOVRIR on "a real test of love"

When I arrived in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia January 25, 2008 to be with you, my love

 There are 10 things why our first date / weekend tops, my love:
  1. Your first taste of Filipino dish
  2. The films "The Invasion" and Stephen King's "1408"
  3. Sharing cheesecake (because you're Captain Cheesecake!)
  4. Hearty conversations
  5. bouquet of red roses --- for you from me! (Yes, I laughed my head off when I read this. I gave you a bouquet of red roses that I coursed through the hotel concierge!)
  6. San Agustin Museum
  7. Manila International Book Fair 2007
  8. The Manila Bay sunset
  9. A pair of necklace from you for the both of us 
  10. A lovely Sunday night after to cap our first date / weekend together
Eight years ago --- September 1, 2007.

Before our first date / weekend together though, we bridged Singapore-Manila via SMS, phone calls, Windows Live Chat --- a long-distance relationship that started through online dating. As you said, ours is a "real test of love."

The years that followed were challenging, it did not help the geographical distance got farther.

And we fell apart.

= = = = =

This year we reconnected.  As you said, fate bought as back together.

A very short reunion. Filled with daunting challenges ahead:

"I will always love you.

I know you love me.

I'm so sorry.


We can do it. Let's just be strong for each other.


I will always let you down.

And I will always lift you up."

= = = = =

I am sorry, my love. I tried but I was not able to lift you up when you needed it most.

It does not make sense now that our "for as long as we both shall lived" is not pushing through.

But I know, we know, all those who know and love you, you are resting now. You deserve this rest.

Our next get together will be better, love.

Until then. I love you so much!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

DESCOVRIR on 'life's too short'

Screen grab of Sex and the City episode I saw weeks ago --- the on-and-off couple, and eventually they got back together, Carrie and Big.

Life's too short.

That all too familiar line from someone I used to know --- for some strange twist of fate, I am reconnected with again.

Earlier, I watched a rerun of Sex and the City episode, "the domino effect." It was my first time to see that episode, and that line, "life's too short," came out, spoken, as if it was addressed to me.

Here, the on-and-off couple Big (Chris Noth) and Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) met again in New York, because Big was in town for an angioplasty. And Carrie's too emotional and too caring for him.

When Carrie visited Big at Four Seasons Hotel to baby sit him, they had the following exchange of lines (this site has transcripts of Sex and the City episodes). The italicized lines are those that hit me pretty bad:

Big: So I guess this is what we'd be like in our seventies, huh? No sex and board games.
Carrie: Oh, you're already thinking about your next birthday?
B: Seriously, kid. You and me, we really were special.
C: Yes, make me big potato, I'll meet you there. Are you OK? Oh my god, you're burning up. Here come on, let's get you in bed.

C: Uh-huh, ok. Well, it's down to 101. Well, that's good to hear. Right. So, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. OK, thank you so much, doctor. Well, he thinks you're gonna be fine. Is this wash cloth still cold?
B: Yeah, that feels nice.
C: Good.
B: You're an angel, you know that?
C: Nah, I'm just doing my job.
B: I'm serious.
C: What are we doing?
B: I'm talking about us. Life's too short. What are we doing?
C: I don't know.

C: It took the best heart surgeon in New York, but Big's heart was finally unblocked. In fact, it was wide open.

(The next day)

C: Hey. How long have you been up?
B: Just a few minutes. How are you feeling?
B: Better. I feel like myself again.
C: Let's see.
B: I'm fine. I'm fine. Excuse me.

C: It was a shift imperceptible to anyone but me. But I knew Big's heart had closed again. Maybe it would reopen in another five years, maybe it wouldn't. But I knew myself well enough to know that that's not enough.

C: Hey, I'm gonna order breakfast. What do you want?
B: Just get me some cornflakes and juice. Thanks.
C: For the first time all week, I didn't feel like crying. Life's too short.

Did that someone open his heart because he truly realized that 'life's too short?'

And the scared me replied 'I don't know?' Because our history is not a very good read.

And because of that, that someone's heart closed again --- and perhaps would not reopen again?

I know it was a TV show, but it did not help that the actor playing Big looks like the one I used to know, and it just left me so confused now.

So confused.

Maybe my heart blocked in fear need an angioplasty ....